Your Lines: The Young Mommy Life

I was finishing up my junior year of college when I was about a week late. After several days of denial, I got the pregnancy test, took it at my boyfriend’s apartment and collapsed on the bathroom floor when I discovered it was positive. I couldn’t believe this could happen to me and I was just plain ol’ scared. The only thing that kept me a little sane was that my boyfriend took the news in stride. If I remember correctly, he might have just shrugged and said, “Okay, now what?” He was really calm and helped me see that this wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Oh, yes, all the time. A couple months ago, I was at this bouncy house place with my two kids and this man just kept harassing me. He was trying to see if my kids had a father, and if he had a job, and if we lived in the ghetto. (Editor’s note: Creepy!)  No lie. I didn’t waste my energy to tell him that between my husband and I, we have 3.5 degrees and we live in a house probably twice the size of his. But people make these assumptions all the time and have no problem spitting out stereotypes in my face. It’s sad, but I just keep living my life in a way that suits me, and let my accomplishments serve as quiet rebuttals for all those who think that young mothers are nothing but statistics.

Man, if I had known how much work goes into having children, I probably wouldn’t have any! LOL. It’s kind of like, instead of taking swimming lessons, you’re pushed in the deep end and let your instincts kick in.

I’ve been writing since I could hold a pencil so it’s all I know. I started writing my book in 2009 and put it off when my day job came calling. But then I got laid off in 2010 and there were no more excuses. It was just me and my keyboard.

I used to watch A Baby Story all the time when I was pregnant. I’d get home from class and just settle in for hours of baby-related programming. After a couple weeks, I realized that all the stories were the same. 30something couple, both employed, excited about the baby, etc. I didn’t see my story in any of the episodes and wondered if I was alone in feeling overwhelmed by motherhood. So I started blogging just to get my fears out there, to see if there were other mothers who were going through the same things I was. Sure enough, there were and I got to meet cool moms like you!

This might not be the most surprising thing, but it’s really how much my kids don’t know they’re being raised by a young mother. To them, I’m just Mommy. They don’t understand how old I’m “supposed” to be, or how an older mother might parent. They just love me. And that’s the coolest thing.

I wanted to get married before the baby, because, well, I didn’t want that pressure of having to look cute only a few months after giving birth! But we did the engagement over a year, and we got hitched when our daughter was six months old. It was insane. My mother handled all the details. I was the furthest thing from a bridezilla – I just was preoccupied with everything else. Who can focus on picking out flowers when they haven’t slept well in four months? Looking back, I wish we had gotten married sooner, or later, so I could have been out of the “new mommy haze” and able to actually enjoy the day. We’re been talking about doing a vow renewal in a few years, so that’s something I’m looking forward to.

I would just say, don’t stress yourself out. It’s hard to juggle everything and planning a wedding is a huge undertaking. Focus on one area that you’d really to see (say, you want to take pictures at a certain spot) and let the rest go. Don’t get bogged down in the details.

 (For moms struggling with this one, read my article on the Yahoo Contributor Network too!)

I started a scholarship this year for young mothers attending college. I figured, why not use this platform to help other people? I just threw it together this year, but we were able to award one mom a $300 scholarship, which made me feel pretty good! Next year, I plan to get more sponsors and donors, and it will be an even bigger deal. I’m aiming to raise $1,000 in 2012. 🙂

I won’t lie. It’s hard work. You have to be very dedicated, and very flexible. At first, I tried to work at specific times during the day. That never lasted because there was always something else to do – pick a kid up from school, make lunch, go to the park, laundry, etc. So now I do most of my work at night or in the early a.m. Yes, I’m always tired, but I can do my work without interruptions, which is key for me to turn in quality work for my clients.

If anyone is thinking about working from home, just know that it’s not a fairy tale. Take things a day at a time and make those changes that work for YOU.