After two kids, I am starting to feel like a more seasoned mama. Although, on the other hand, I am really nervous to have a boy. I just feel like I will have no idea what to do with a boy! My life has been full of pink and purple and tea parties and princesses for the past four years, so this boy feels like such a huge change.
I’m trying not to think about it too much. I know it will be fine and as with every baby, we won’t be able to imagine our lives without him once he is here.
But in the meantime, I’m trying to prepare ahead of the game with some things I know I will do differently this time.
1) “Wear” my baby more. As I’ve posted about before, I pretty much carted around Ada and Mya for the first year+ of their life, partly out of my desire for a huge, disproportionate bicep, partly out of my inability to get anything done unless I was holding them, and partly just because I like to keep my babies close.
But this time around, I’m smartening up. (Is that a word?) I’m thinking like a kangaroo and going to find some kind of holder to cart this kid around, should he turn out the demanding diva like his sisters. Or maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll be one chill, chubby little man and have no objection to the floor. If not, however, anyone have any suggestions for their favorite baby carriers? I tried one of those sling kinds and didn’t like it at all. I felt like the baby was just all smushed up inside and I panicked she was suffocating. I prefer the carrier kind, but the current one I have is impossible to strap by myself, so it’s not really handy for using around the house.
2) Don’t kill myself with breastfeeding. After Ada was born, I became completely psycho about breastfeeding. I was convinced she would never nurse again if she had even a drop of formula. So, working nights, I’d pump all day to try to get her through the night, and then when I was “sleeping” during the day after night shift, I’d still feed her every few hours if Ben was home with her to bring her in to me. It was exhausting.
In my defense though, part of my craziness was due to the fact that I was hospitalized a mere three days after she was born with a massive kidney infection, during which time I couldn’t nurse her. So the hormones of birth combined with our separation messed with my mind a little bit and I became fixated on breastfeeding as a way for us to bond again.
With Mya, I relaxed a little bit, pumping and dumping if I had to be away on a business trip, rather than try to haul and store breast milk through an airport. I knew she’d be fine with an occasional bottle of formula, which happened maybe three times during her first year. But I still was convinced I wasn’t doing my duty if she wasn’t exclusively breastfed.
I’m hoping with #3, I can relax even more. Maybe even to the point that if we actually go out to dinner somewhere, I don’t have to struggle with breastfeeding in a public booth, hiding under a blanket and hoping milk doesn’t spray everywhere….maybe I could learn to be ok with an occasional bottle of formula while we’re out and about. I’ve never really mastered the whole nursing in public thing, so it really makes life crazy to have to hide away every time the baby needs to eat.
Plus, and this may sound silly, but Ada and Mya are soo excited to feed the baby. We had to have a little talk the other day about how I will feed the baby, which merely served to convince Ada that she her own boobs will miraculously produce milk so she can help me, (I now have two little girls who lift their shirts at various intervals throughout the day to show me. Mya will proudly announce “Milk! Boobs!” Lovely…) But I know it would mean a lot to them, and to Ben to be able to feed him once in a while.
3) I’m considering a movement monitor. I will admit to you that I put both of my babies to sleep on their stomachs around 3 months, at which point, they starting sleeping “through the night.” (You know, like 5 hour stretches…) While they both did fine, this time around, I am terrified of SIDS. I feel like I’ve heard about it happening so much more, from this mom’s blog that I follow, to a recent 5-month old in the community that passed away. It’s just too horrible to imagine. And if I could prevent it from happening with monitor? Or give us a little peace of mind? Why wouldn’t I, right? I haven’t researched any yet, but I was thinking something like the under-the-mattress kinds, like this:
What do you guys think? Am I being paranoid? Would you get one or if anyone has ever used one, would you recommend a certain kind?