I’ve about had it.
I am so tired of hearing it everywhere.
In the last 5 days, 3 different people have asked me some variation of the same question. The dreaded “Wow, you must be getting ready to have a baby because you look ginormous” question.
1. The Setting: Party store down the road for our weekly Sunday “treats.”
The Perpetuator: The attendant, eyeing my unfortunate choices of Cheetos and Sprite.
Attendant: “So, when’s your baby due?”
Me: “Not `till July….:
Attendant (eyes bugging out of her head) “Wow, really?!?!”
Me (defensively): “Well, this is my third…:
Attendant (disdainfully) “Well, I had five. I never looked like that…”
2. The Setting: Checking out with Ada in the grocery store
The Perpetuator: The clerk
Clerk: “Ok, I have to ask…when is that baby due?”
Me (tired already): “July.”
Clerk: Pauses. “Wow.”
Clerk: Shakes head. Eyes belly again. Shakes head again.” Wow.”
Clerk (cheerfully): “My daughter just gave birth last night and she was nowhere near that!”
Clerk: “And they’re sure there’s no twins in there, right??”
3. The Setting: In ACLS class for my job at the hospital
The Perpetuator: A nurse walking down the hall
Evil Nurse: “Whoa, must be getting close there, huh?!”
Evil Nurse: Stops in tracks. “What? Really?”
Evil Nurse: Regathers self. “Are you sure?”
So, here’s the thing. Yes, I’m sure I haven’t miraculously gestated to 40 weeks overnight. As lovely as that would be, it’s not the case. Maybe I look like I’m about to give birth any minute, but incredibly enough, I have 18 long weeks to go. 18. As in over 4 months to go.
It’s awful, really.
I can’t even imagine what kind of comments I will be getting when I am actually about to give birth.
A parting suggestion for anyone who may encounter a pregnant woman in the next few days. If, when you ask the inevitable question of when she is due, please, I repeat, please, do not express any shock/concern/utter disbelief if her due date appears incompatible with the enormity of her belly.
Because that woman just may be me.