Well, that very light period never became anything other than very, very light. So I did what any rational woman would do… I started googling. Almost immediately I came across numerous stories of women who said that those exact symptoms appeared while they were still nursing, without having seen the return of their cycle and it turned out they were pregnant. Still living in denial, I thought surely this wasn’t the case for me but I do love a good pregnancy test so I whipped out an old test from under the bathroom sink, waited the recommended 5 minutes, then peeked with one eye closed at the results. Phew, it looked like a negative result but at the same time I swore I could alllllmost see a second tiny blue line. I showed it to my husband who couldn’t see it at all and said that I was imagining things.
I felt a little relieved but still had a bit of doubt and probably stared at that pee stick off and on for a total of two hours. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was pregnant and decided to go buy a First Response test to take when I woke up in the morning. I went to bed that night with so many butterflies and a million questions circling in my mind. What would we do if I was pregnant? How would we manage to travel around the country and also receive prenatal care? Would I be giving birth in an RV? How would a newborn get any sleep with a toddler and a giant dog occupying the same 200 square feet of house on wheels?
I was embarrassed that we had gotten pregnant on accident. I mean, c’mon, we are two educated adults, we know how baby-making works. How could we have let this happen? I was worried about the life we were creating for our kids. Traveling around the country in an RV seemed adventurous with one child; but with two (including a newborn) it just seemed irresponsible. We talked and talked about what to do and there was even a point when Richard (being the supportive feminist man that he is) asked me if I wanted to keep the baby. I didn’t even give it any thought. We may not have expected to be pregnant again so soon and the timing was definitely not ideal but I wanted our baby and I knew he did too.
So, we put our brand new RV up for sale, moved across the country into a family home and waited on our sweet baby boy to make his appearance. Today, I am so grateful to have two healthy and beautiful children that are so close in age. We still struggle with the stress of moving across the country away from friends and family, the financial loss of buying and selling a “home” within a 6 month period, and the daily exhaustion that results from raising two young kids. I know that our experience does not even compare to that of many young mothers that face an unplanned pregnancy, but I do think it is important to remember that unplanned pregnancies happen even to married adults and it can seem just as daunting.