On Monday evening, while sitting in the doctor’s office with Mya, I listened to a voicemail on my phone. It was from my manager at the hospital. And it went a little something like this:
“Chaunie, we need to have a conversation about some things that have happened the last couple of weeks. Give me a call back…”
Awesome. Just what any (new) employee wants to hear. That she needs to have a conversation with her boss.
Frantic with worry, I called her right back, but of course, she had already left for the day.
So I was left to sweat it out all night and, as it turned out, the entire next day, when I couldn’t get a hold of her to save my life.
I don’t do well with that kind of stress. It was terrible. My head spun with visions of what I could have possibly done wrong, what enormous medication errors I could have made, what patients I may or may not have killed.
When I finally connected with her, I found out that….well, it wasn’t good. Apparently some staff members felt I needed more experience with deliveries. “No one is upset, no one is ‘telling’ on you,” she stressed. “But, we just need to get you some more time in the delivery room….and to do that, you just need to work more.”
Basically, it came down to this decree:
Work more or quit.
[Gulp.]I have to be honest with you–my first reaction was almost a kind of relief. Like the decision had been made for me. I have been struggling, as most of you know, with working as a nurse. But the way this situation was presented, it seems like a no-brainer. Because, when it comes right down to it, I just don’t feel capable, or even willing, to work full-time nights with my girls and a newborn. Period. I don’t do well on nights, and that affects everything–my health, how I treat my girls, my relationship with my husband.
But on the other hand, how can I possible accept failure?? How can I admit that I couldn’t do this job? How can I look my co-workers in the eye, short-staffed as they are, and walk away?
Either way, it feels terrible. And then, of course,there’s that little thing called money. What in the heck will I do without a job?
She gave me until today to decide.
Um, help please?? What should I do??
Your gut, your gut, your gut!! You have to do what you know will make you happy and a better person for you and your family. Everything else will all into place as it should. You only live once!! God will take care of you. 🙂
Okay, first of all…I don’t think she’s allowed to do this kind of thing, legally. And I’m serious. But putting that aside, you would NOT be a failure if you chose to quit. You didn’t fail at anything! You didn’t make any mistakes and you didn’t do anything wrong. You would simply be choosing your family time over your working time. In the end, it would be totally your choice. So please, do not look at this as a win/lose thing. You are a smart, capable woman who has a lot on her plate. Sometimes taking some of the things off the plate is the only way to win in the long run.
Good luck, sweetie. No matter what happens, things WILL work out!
I think you already know the answer to that. I agree with Lauren go with your gut!God is AMAZING and this is probably a blessing in disguise!!
I totally agree with Dwija. First, can they even give you only a day to make this decision.
And of course, more importantly, what do YOU want to do? Whatever your decision, you’ll make the right one. Because it will be right for you AND your family.
I also believe things happen for a reason. And that everything will work out.
Go with your gut.
Quit. That’s what your heart is telling you. This just makes it easier to take the plunge.
I also vote to go with your gut. I majored in advertising, and upon graduating I looked at all the ad jobs and couldn’t bring myself to work hard to find one. I work in a different industry, part time. And I get a lot of “when are you going to use your degree?” from people (and a lot of people thinking I’m wasting my talent, degree, mind). But honestly, more important than my work or career I love my family. Any ad job I’d have to work full time, and being part time in an okay (but not super stressful) job is a true blessing. In my book, no matter what, family comes first.
You already know that one of your part-time bosses will be delighted to get you more work outside of a hospital!
I agree with all of the commentary above…. you’ve done nothing wrong, and she handled it badly. Plus, can I just say, I’m totally with you in that awful stomach churning uncertainty. It’s a terrible feeling! So exhausting! Let us know how it turned out. xo
I also agree to go with your gut and quit. My husband is on 3rd shift and I know how hard it is on him to go on less sleep, and try to adjust his schedule to have a normal life on weekends. The longer he’s on it, he is having a harder time sleeping during the day. I couldn’t imagine being pregnant, taking care of the girls and trying to do everything else a wife and mom does while working third. I personally don’t think it’s worth the stress and everything else for the extra money. I didn’t think we would make it without me working, but amazingly we have! I say relax, enjoy your girls and enjoy (as much as you can) being pregnant. 🙂