After eight long years of parenting, I realized something the other day. In fact, the truth kind of smacked me in the face on a drive home, a truth that left me rather shocked:
I don’t actually want to be a stay-at-home mom.
Are you as shocked as I am? Honestly, I’ve always thought of myself as a stay-at-home mom first and foremost, as if it’s something that should come “naturally” to me.
I’ve always worked, but mostly in a part-time sense outside of the home and I have never really thought of my job as a nurse as a part of my identity. My job was work to pay the bills, you know what I’m saying? But after I made a transition into working for myself, I realized something rather shocking: I am actually happier on the (very rare) days that I work and have childcare than the majority of days I spend at home with my little kiddos.
The truth is, I stay home because it’s what works best for our family, not because it’s what personally fulfills me and makes my heart soar with happiness.
The realization was both humbling and made me feel kind of crappy. What kind of mother prefers not spending every waking second gazing lovingly at her children?