A funny thing happens when you become an adult and start to do adult things with your husband, such as shop for a house or meet with a financial advisor.
The “important” people of the world generally choose one of us to talk to as the main person of contact. You know, the one they will address questions and concerns to, the one they deem as the decision-maker, the leader, the person of importance in whatever we happen to be discussing. This occurs whether it’s a purchase, consultation, or heck, even just a casual run-in at the grocery store.
It could be couch, life insurance, car, or a house we are looking to purchase. It could be a question about our pay stubs for our taxes. It could be a discussion involving our children’s college funds. The situations may vary, but one thing remains the same: The person they turn to is always, always my husband.
I sit there with a confused half-smile on my face as I wonder what to do in this awkward moment. Because it’s not going to go well for either the important person or my husband (who is assumed to be the important person) — unlike me.
My husband will look at me for an answer or reassurance, prompting me to either jump in or at least nod my assent to whatever he is saying. This charade will continue on for a few minutes until I observe the realization on the face of whoever we are talking to that my husband is notnecessarily the person to talk to.
It just so happens that in our relationship, I am the financial manager and often, the primary decision maker. And this is not to be a jerk; my husband actually prefers it this way. It’s apparently a hard truth for important people to grasp, because even though I am a mother and a woman who happens to look younger than I actually am, I am also an important person.
So why is the first assumption always that my husband is the important person to talk to?
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