It’s been forever and a day since I blogged and I listened to a really interesting podcast this morning that wondered, is blogging dead? and I honestly have no idea because 1. I’m not sure if anyone even reads my blog 2. I don’t make money off of my blog and 3. I don’t care because I like having this little space to write about whatever the heck I want to, such as a few Monday Motherhood confessions for you:
1. I’m running away from my family.
Ok, not really, but I’m going away to D.C. for work this week (speaking about supporting students facing unplanned pregnancies in college!) and you had better believe that I booked the earliest and latest flights I possibly could so I could milk every second of having a hotel room to myself and the picturesque town of Old Town Alexandria to wander around in, drinking coffee to my heart’s content. I mean, I’m really going to miss my kids…
2. I want to run a half-marathon.
October. My first one. But I’m scared. And I still look very much pregnant when I wear real clothes and don’t hide behind a baby carrier:
3. My husband is going back to work soon.
He’s been off for five glorious weeks because he’s a year-round teacher and I won’t lie to you, it’s been amazing. We’ve been splitting the days so he works in the morning and I do the afternoon and I’m so going to miss having help `round these here parts.
4. I think I’m a loser.
In the past week, many mothers I know have done adventurous things like take a cross-country road trip with many young children or go camping with babies and I genuinely am horrified by even the thought of attempting such lofty and ambitious goals. I’m very much content to do nothing but stay home, get groceries once in a while, and sit on my deck all evening long. And I can’t tell if this is the best thing ever or if I’m just really, really lazy.
5. I went through a crisis of faith.
Maybe mine was delayed since I spent my early 20’s having babies and what not, but in the past few years, I’ve gone through a spiritual crisis of sorts. I’m still kind of sorting things out for myself, but I feel like I’m also on the other side of it, at a point where I feel a lot more peace than I did before. In general, I can sleep at night, not pondering the questions of What Is The Meaning of Life and Why Why Why Would Babies Ever Get Cancer? I’m coming to terms with the fact that it’s ok to question and it’s also ok to have irrational faith. If that makes sense.
6. It’s pointless for me to get up early in the morning.
Honestly. My husband thinks I’m a lazy bones because he loves jumping out of bed in the dark to get an early jump on his day and I’m like, that’s great for you, but I can 100% guarantee you that any time I even remotely think about getting up early to do something productive that doesn’t involve watching the news with a baby on my lap, my children will sense it and wake up wailing. It’s a scientific freaking fact.
7. I’m finally using my fertility monitor.
Do you remember that all-natural birth control fertility monitor that was sent to me? Yeah. It’s pretty sweet in theory, but I couldn’t use it really because I was breastfeeding and literally not sleeping more than an hour or two tops at a time for many, many months. Sara finally started sleeping more at night and easing up on the nursing enough for me to feel like I could trust my cycle, so I started using the monitor. I’ve been at it a month and honestly, I forget to use it half of the days, but so it’s still going pretty well. It totally told me when I was ovulating this month, even though it was way early for me, so there’s that. I’ve had a lot of people ask me about using Daysy, so I’ll keep you posted, even there is a theoretical “you” reading this who cares.
OK, that sums it up. A few links for you of what I’ve been up to elsewhere:
- 5 Things I Wish I Knew About Being a Stay-at-Home Mom
- The Simple Way to Decide if You Should Have Another Baby
- Questioning Birth Control Is Not Anti-Feminist